After leaving my midwife’s office one day, my husband said, “She does not practice secular medicine.” He’s right. My midwife, Lillian, has mentioned God at least once during most of my visits. While I was in the depth of my postpartum depression, she said she would pray for me. That was nice. Here’s what wasn’t nice:
While in labor, (a natural labor I might add) I kept saying “oh God, oh God” during powerful contractions. Then I would correct myself “Godddd, I mean gosh. Oh God, I mean gosh.”
“It’s OK to say God,” Lillian told me.
“Yeah, because he did this!” I screamed.
“No, no, Eve ate the apple.”
Excuse me? I’m not even sure if I believe in Adam and Eve, but I know I don’t believe that the pain of labor is a woman’s punishment for a biblical person eating a piece of fruit.
I was very concerned that I had offended Lillian though, so I apologized a few times. Looking back, that seems wrong. Didn’t I have enough to worry about without apologizing for something I said while enduring an excruciating contraction?
I tend to describe my postpartum depression as “living in Hell.” I would never say that to Lillian though, I’m afraid it would offend her. I sometimes wonder what she would do if someone did say something that offended her. Would she tell the patient that she is not comfortable being her midwife?
I want your opinion. Should health care providers talk about their religious beliefs with their patents? What about the other way around?
-Ava
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ReplyDeleteMy doula prayed with us when she met with us. It was very comforting to me. That said, I think it's okay for a health care provider to mention their beliefs (maybe?), but beyond that it is up to the patient whether or not God/faith/spiritual matters should be discussed.
ReplyDeleteI think some patients, especially when it comes to mental health, will only see Christian practitioners (such as a Christian-based counseling program). Obviously then it is okay to discuss religious beliefs.
Good questions!
Dear Ava,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great question, one I have had to make decisions about many times as a therapist. We know that religion,prayer and spirituality are helpful in the healing process for both mental and physical illnesses. But as is the case in all aspects of therapy, the professional has to respect the patients religions beliefs even if they are very different than their own.